The over examined life
Introduction
“A thing that is explained ceases to concern us - What did the God mean who gave the advice, “Know thyself!” Did it perhaps imply “Cease to be concerned about thyself! Become objective!” - And Socrates? - And the “scientific man”? - Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
Ever since I can remember, I have asked how or why? It was something that I could not control. I thought the world was an exciting place, but understanding how or why something worked, uniquely intrigued me.
As I have grown older, and am continuing the attempt to clean up my mental space in the hopes of achieving a more significant state of well being, I have learned that how and why questions are essential to me. When I understand how or why something works - mainly psychological aspects - it helps me to deal with whatever I might be facing.
Take for example, feeling rejected. In times past, I would immediately recoil and ask the defeating question “what is wrong with me?” As I have grown older and learned about human psychology and relationships, I have learned that there is nothing “wrong” with me. We feel pain from rejection because if historically we were rejected by the group, we would die. This situation is one of our most primal fears. So it makes sense that people who survived were at the very least anxious when it comes to social rejection. When I know this, the “issue” can shrink from an enormous, amorphous ball of emotion, to a manageable size. The sting of rejection does not go away, but I can understand why I was rejected, and why I am having pain around that event. This type of understanding is of paramount importance to me.
Now, this is generally well and good. However, learning tools to understand something so intimate as human psychology is a double-edged sword. We can think of theories and schools of thought in psychology as lenses, or different ways to view the world. Each differing approach is a different lens and, thus, another tool in our toolbox for understanding the world and solving challenges. If we are not careful, and we either only put on a single lens, or carry it around so much, that we forget we have it up to our face, then it seems like problems can ensue. It makes sense that this is where overthinking comes into play.
The title of this article is a play on the ancient quote that is attributed to Plato while he was recounting a speech Socrates gave during his trial.
"An unexamined life is not worth living."
Now, at first glance, this quote might seem noble or wise. However, what is meant by this line is that anyone who did not examine their life employing the Socratic method leads a life that was not worth living. This idea alludes to Plato’s ideas about Eugenics or “the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics.” Because only the elite had the means and time to indulge in philosophy, they were the only ones who could lead indeed, examined lives. Now, if we think about this quote in this context, today, almost no one leads an examined life except for philosophy majors. Those folks are far and few between, so perhaps we can still lead some semblance of an examined life, without it degrading to the depths of over-analysis and, at the same time, need not conform to the ancient Socratic Method.
In more modern times, it seems as though many folks sleepwalk their lives away, and merely crash into glaciers of instinct. Perhaps here it is not so much that we need to examine our lives in the lense of the Socratic Method, but maybe we can move from a place of doing as we are told to questioning what is a life well-lived, and how do I as an individual prepare for and move toward such a goal? We have set up many systems (government, religion, corporations) to help guide us through life. While those systems are necessary, when any structure becomes authoritarian, it is tyrannical and stifling. This restriction can include our very own thought process if we are not careful.
What is overthinking?
“It is terrible to die of thirst at sea. It is necessary that you should so salt your truth that it will no longer - quench thirst?” - Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
In biblical terms, salt is regarded as wisdom. So if we are searching for truth and we take in too much salt during our search for a good life, it makes sense that we could die of thirst in a sea of knowledge.
I invite you to consider: At what point does contemplation go from a useful tool - like a rope used to fasten something for transport (a solution to a problem) - to binding and constricting our mental space (the problem itself)?
It seems crucial to take a step back and ask ourselves, “how does it feel to be inside my head?” If things are okay, then we are probably not overthinking. If, however, it feels like we are living in prison, or with constant mental floggings, then overthinking might be running rampant.
What are we thinking?
Perhaps we can consider the quality, quantity, and depth of our thinking.
Are our thoughts usually positive or negative? Our interpretations allow us to see the good or bad in a situation. We know from Shakespeare that there is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so. With that being said, it is essential to take stock of our thoughts and see where we are spending most of our intellectual time.
Are we having many, many thoughts at once? Are they coming fast or slow? Depending on how much we think and how quickly those thoughts are manifesting in our minds, we might be prone to overthinking. It makes sense to me that if we have a quick and powerful intellect, we tend to run in intellectual circles, chasing our tail like a dog. We are imbued with natural problem-solving tendencies, and if we are not solving a problem, then our mind begins to create them.
Finally, are we having deep thoughts? Or are we merely superficially thinking about something for an extended period? If we are contemplative, it is easy to believe that we are rooted in thought. However, if we are not able to hold many ideas simultaneously, or reason abstractly, perhaps our thoughts are not so deep. This folly is not bad; it merely means that we are more concrete than abstract, as I have discussed in the article “How do we differ in how we think?“ Much of how we are is due to our genetic makeup.
Why might over examination be detrimental?
Over the centuries, intellect has been naturally selected. A part of intelligence is our ability to reason abstractly. This abstract reasoning ability has been tuned to solve problems. When we are not in pursuit, and solving problems that interest us, our mind goes to work on itself.
“Under peaceful conditions the militant man attacks himself.” - Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
There are certain situations when high levels of particular intellect can be detrimental. When we have keen verbal intelligence, scientific literature suggests that we might not be as good at processing in situ the emotional responses of others. This aspect might drive us to think about the past more often in the present, in an attempt to process what has happened to us socially.
Dwelling on situations that are not happening in the present moment has been referred to as rumination. Psychological studies have shown that rumination is a leading cause of depression.
“In conclusion, a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.” - A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind; Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert
It is essential to understand where we are so that we can orient in the proper direction and take the correct steps to move toward our ideal future, as Peterson suggests.
Where do we want to go?
When we begin to examine our lives and start to receive feedback that we are doing it well, it makes sense that we would tend toward falling in love with our creations. It’s like going to the gym. Once we start seeing the results of the weights we lift, it might not take us too long to begin spending too much time in the mirror looking at ourselves, so that we no longer leave time to lift the weights that made us good looking in the first place.
“The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the over examined life sure wastes a lot of it.” Pg. 244; Friedman's fables, Book by Edwin Friedman
Additionally, when we seek to understand, we begin to be granted clarity. Unfortunately, clarity is non-discriminate. So when we learn more and realize we see more of the good and evil in the world. We do not get to choose one or the other. When we begin to see this and fall into the trap of seriousness instead of play, we can have a tremendous problem on our hands.
“Have you ever noticed that while you can make your horse prance and perhaps even your dog dance, you cannot play with your pet alligator, salamander, turtle, or snake? They are deadly, serious creatures. It is out of the question to expect them to behave mischievously, let alone irreverently. It is also rare to see them develop a relationship that is nurturing. Playfulness and nurturing appear to have evolved simultaneously, perhaps even as part of one another and are part of our mammalian heritage. Is it so far-fetched to say, therefore, that in all human communication when we have forgotten “the importance of not being earnest,” at such moments, we have committed a reptilian regression?” Pg. 155; Friedman's fables, Book by Edwin Friedman
I’m not sure anyone wants to be regarded as a reptile; however, it makes sense to me that if we are not careful, we can over examine our lives. When we fall into such a trap, we will harden to the world and dry our nurturing relations.
How do we examine life properly?
“Orient yourself properly. Then–and only then–concentrate on the day. Set your sights at the Good, the Beautiful, and the True, and then focus pointedly and carefully on the concerns of each moment. Aim continually at Heaven while you work diligently on Earth. Attend fully to the future, in that manner, while attending fully to the present. Then you have the best chance of perfecting both.” - Jordan Peterson
Again, we are problem-solving machines. To solve problems, we need tools. If we allow our devices to become tyrants (this includes patterns of thought), then we become prisoners of our minds. If we aim to set our lives in order a little bit each day, then over time, the trend will be unimaginably positive. Letting go of what we are not, and being grateful for what we have are the only surefire ways to prevent us from digging ourselves into a hole of rumination.
We also must take care not to take things seriously that are meant for play. Most circumstances in life should be regarded as play like because they are not inherently serious (dire).
“The maturity of man - that means, to have reacquired the seriousness that one had as a child at play.” - Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
We can also leverage play to learn without facing such potentially harmful and real situations.
“To play means to set - or to fictionally transform - “fictional” goals. Such fictional goals give valence to phenomena that would, in other contexts, remain meaningless (valence that is informative, without being serious). Play allows us to experiment with means and ends themselves, without subjecting ourselves to the actual consequences of “real” behavior, and to benefit emotionally, in the process.” Pg. 77; Maps of Meaning Book by Jordan Peterson
Perhaps if we try to play a bit more and not treat each passing moment with so much severity, we can begin to lead a fulfilling life. After all, what else could we want aside from feeling at ease and fulfilled with every passing moment? Perhaps it’s like a wise old mentor once said to me, on this path, we keep seeking, asking questions, and learning. But in the end, when we learn enough, we realize that it was one big circle and we are back to where we started with knowing that the more we know, the more we know we do not know. Peterson makes a similar analogy with an island in the middle of the ocean. We build our island of knowledge. However, no matter how large we build it, we can still look out in any direction to a horizon that does not appear even a millimeter closer.
Conclusions
There are times for examination, and there are times for play. Neither of those two poles are better or worse, and some argue that play is more severe than contemplation. Never-the-less, we need to take care to leverage the tools for what they are, not let them overtake us, and be able to place them back into the toolbox when they are not being utilized. If we have been blessed with a well-developed intellect, it is our burden and responsibility to learn how to direct it, much like a construction worker leads a jackhammer. It can be an implement of pure destruction or precise removal of material to make way for the new and generative. If we have not been blessed with a tremendous amount of intellectual horsepower that holds it's own advantages. It is difficult for those who lack the intellect to know the hell that undisciplined overthinking can impart. And now I leave you with an article wrought with overthinking.
Consider this an invitation to revisit the post titled “Is the world a prison or a playground?” as a guide to examining some of our more fundamental needs as humans. To counter this heady article giving thought to “10 Mindfulness Tips To Help You Live A More Peaceful Life” and “Wherever You Go, There You Are” might help to bring more balance and mindfulness to your life.