What Is Reality?
What is reality? The aforementioned is a question that authors, poets, philosophers, astronomers, and physicists have been contemplating since the beginning of time. Many of these disciplines explore the more esoteric side of things. Abstract pontification is enjoyable, but the purpose of this article is to be pragmatic and to convey some lessons. The goal herein is to discuss some impactful things that matter to our everyday lives.
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” - Philip K. Dick
We will explore the following: How do we interpret our reality? How are there sometimes shortcomings in these interpretations? From where do we understand our reality? How might our interpretation shift with the new state of affairs regarding the pandemic? What can we do to improve our current reality, right here and now?
“Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it.” - Voltaire
So, how is it that we interpret this thing that we call reality? We use our sense organs to perceive our surroundings. These organs collect data, and we can then understand this data and rationalize it from there. With this information, we can make judgments on how we should best proceed, ultimately, for our very own survival. Because we are limited by our sense’s ability to take in the surroundings and our intellects ability to rationalize, we have holes in our judgment.
“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” - Cormac McCarthy
Take, for example, the confirmation bias. This notion states that we tend toward people or groups who agree with us. We do not like to surround ourselves with people who tell us that we are wrong or point out our shortcomings. This bias actually can hinder our personal growth and development, turning our surroundings into echo chambers of ideas similar to our own.
“Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else.” - George Orwell, 1984
Because of our different blind spots or biases, life becomes like a road filled with potholes. At first, we are walking down the street, continually falling into these potholes as we do not take the time to look down and see them. Then we slowly train ourselves to be more aware. However, we are still not in enough control to avoid potholes. So we see them coming and step in them anyways. It is an excellent point in time to not only become aware of the approaching pothole, or unwanted situations but to avoid them altogether. This path is the development of conscious awareness.
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” - Robertson Davies
Now, if we return to the thought of confirmation bias, and we ask ourselves, how often do we think that we are right, vs. how often are we right? Perhaps a different story emerges. As David Foster Wallace once said:
“Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the most real, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centredness because it’s so socially repulsive. But it’s pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute center of.”
From this quote, we can understand that we can be wrong about things, of which we are sure. We can also identify with the idea that we do experience from the center of our universe. However, the funny thing is reality has no center.
To drive these points home, let us take a step back into a very familiar setting — the grocery store. If you are like most people when you’re arriving at such an establishment, you’ve had a long and arduous day at work, sitting in your cubicle, staring at your computer’s screen doing less than fulfilling work. Once it’s time to head home, you must stop at the grocery store to buy the finishing touches for dinner. As you push the cart around the isles, you are quick to anger when someone cuts you off. After 15-20 minutes of shopping cart bumper cars, you finally find the condiments you need and head off to the checkout line.
Upon arriving, all of the lines are hopelessly long. You feel that you can barely see the ever so slow cashier at the front of the line. They are the bottleneck to your night, and now the bane of your existence. You cannot help but think about how all of these people got in front of you, little old you — the very center of the universe inside of your head. You sit and obsess about how the cashier should hurry up, or all of these other people should simply leave.
This very moment is the point of inception for you to cultivate your conscious awareness. The thoughts of discomfort and distress, are they not coming about because you are at the center of your reality? What about all of the people in the lines who came from jobs they equally despise? What about the fellow who cut you off earlier? He just lost his job earlier in the day and no longer has a stable income to pay the mortgage, car payment, and student loan bills. What about the woman at the checkout stand? She lost her father two weeks ago and is working two jobs to support two children whose father is mostly absent due to a drug and alcohol addiction.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” - Alan Wilson Watts
Now at this point, you may be wondering, what is it that I can do about this natural self-centeredness? The only path forward is that of learning about ourselves and the world. We can take responsibility to learn about how our words differ from our actions, how to be present and aware of our thoughts, language, and deeds in the very moment of their inception.
“Humankind cannot bear very much reality.” - T. S. Eliot
We have focused on life as it was, as we shall say “normal.” This stable world view has now all changed and sadly brought this self-centeredness even more so than usual. Some might think that in times of trial and tribulation, humans band together to become stronger in numbers supporting each other as needed. This hope has not been the standard case. There have been plenty of instances of folks fighting for supplies, or worse yet, yelling at people to go back to their state.
“You don’t get explanations in real life. You just get moments that are absolutely, utterly, inexplicably odd.” - Neil Gaiman
These erratic actions during this peculiar time make sense from the perspective that people are afraid and feel out of control. Perhaps we can each try to take a step by and see the vulnerable condition that it means to be human and realize that is the only thread that runs through us all. The thread points to the fact that we are all vulnerable to a dire end, and we live alone inside of our heads until then.
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison
The point here is not to illustrate all that is bad, gloomy, or dull with life. Instead, it is to point out the natural human condition to place ourselves at the center of the universe. It is to point out that we perceive reality through our senses, judge it with rationality, and then make decisions formed on incomplete evidence. We have to do this by design! But, perhaps if we can relinquish our desire to be perfect and self-centered for a few seconds, we can cultivate some compassion for what our fellow human beings are going through. Let us remember that we so quickly forget that we are all in this game of life together, and without one another, we all lose.
“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” - Cormac McCarthy
Further Reading
The cycle of reality is discussed here by looking at how butterflies are formed and liken that cycle to our own way to maturity in “Consider the caterpillar.” When we are facing existential reality, we have learned in times past that expectations cannot be had for anyone but ourselves. When we realize that expectations are limited, we can take the responsibility necessary to make our reality the best that we can with what we have been given. As we move through this thing we call our reality and our approaches work, perhaps we can remember our methods and place them into our backpack. That way when we get discouraged by a barren existence, we can remember what has worked and how far we have come when the harsh winds of reality seem unrelenting.