Shame

/SHām/ a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. This one is interesting to bring up in this context because I think all four of the topics that we have covered here relate to this. Criticism and contempt seem to create shame through judgment. Defensiveness and stonewalling seem to be simultaneously the result of someone feeling shame, and then imparting guilt on the receiver by making them interpret silence. We know from previous posts that judgments, secrets, and silence spur shame. Shame certainly does not seem to fuel excellent communication, and as a result, appears to be a poison to the functionality of a human relationship.